Negative thinking 2 - Ways to change

Why is it a Good Idea to Challenge Negative Thoughts?

One of the first things people do when they are experiencing a lot of negative thoughts is to try and not think about them, or push them out of their mind. However, this doesn’t always work. In fact the more you try not to think about something the more it can intrude into your mind.

Here is a visual reminder of the different types of negative thoughts

The following pages show you five ways to challenge unhelpful thoughts.

Putting your money where your mouth is’

This challenge assumes that the things you worry about are unlikely to happen. It asks you how much of your own money would you bet on it happening.
E.g

"My heart is pounding and my pulse is racing. My fingers are tingling. I'm going to have a heart attack"

Challenge "What are the chances of me having a heart attack? You may been through this before and never had a heart attack. My doctor has told me my heart is in fine shape. My symptoms are associated with stress”

What is the worst thing...?

This challenge assumes that the things you worry about may well happen but are you making too much of them.
E.g

"What if I start to blush in front of the people at work? I would want to die"

Challenge "What is the worst thing that can happen? I've blushed in front of them a few times and I was very self-conscious. Nothing else happened. So if it happens again - will it be the end of the world? - will they disown me? - No - will they still like me? - Yes. So, at worst, I would be embarrassed. I hate it but I will survive."

Am I right to think that....?

This challenge assumes that you may be missing some important evidence. If you look for that evidence, your stress might lessen.
E.g.

 ‘I’m a failure’

Challenge ‘Am I right to think that I’m a failure. I try my best and a lot of the time, I can be OK. I’m holding down my job. I’m still coping. I ask too much of myself – I’m human not perfect.

The five year rule

This challenge assumes that the thing you are worrying about has happened or will happen. It then asks you to stand back from it and work out how bad it really is. You ask yourself ‘will this matter in 5 years' time?’.
E.g.

‘I really messed things up this morning. I made a real fool of myself. I’m not going back’

Challenge ‘How big a deal will this morning be in five years time? Get things in perspective here. It was awful this morning but it is over and I am still on my feet. I’ve learned something and it's unlikely to happen again. If that is the worst thing to happen to me for the next five years then I will be lucky. I'm OK’

Is life too short?

This challenge asks you, given all the other things in your life, are you spending too much time thinking about things that don’t deserve it.
E.g.

‘I go to bed each night worrying about how I coped today. Did I say something silly to my neighbour?, Was I too hard on the kids? I always feel I have failed and I feel that I am stuck in a very deep rut’

Challenge Is life too short to worry like this? No-one at home says I’m failing. In fact, they often say how well I deal with the kids. My neighbours always talk to me so they must think I’m OK. On one level, things are going fine. Yet my life feels miserable. Maybe I could pat myself on the back a bit more. Be kinder’

What happens next?

Practice!
Give these challenges a go. You now know how to spot the negative thoughts and have 5 different challenges for them. Find out what works well for you.

There will be times when practice and knowledge are not enough. That's OK. Sometimes it's ok to have negative thoughts. Sometimes there is good reason to have negative thoughts and feel bad too. When these effect your life then it is time to take further action. Contact me if this is the case; there is another way!